We regret to inform you that we have lost yet another political power couple to the smooth, pore-free grasp of Facetune.
Callista Gingrich, U.S. ambassador to the Holy See, recently celebrated her anniversary with her husband Newt in Rome. To commemorate the occasion, she shared a photo of herself and the former Speaker of the House on Saturday.
Like the now infamous of Don Jr and Kimberly Guilfoyle, this anniversary picture of Newt and Callista is inhumanly perfect. There isn‘t a single wrinkle, pore, or edge in these grins. DaVinci‘s most iconic frescos can‘t even come close to the in this photo — where does Castilla end and Newt begin?
Much like how Newt‘s personal scandals begin to blur together after decades of the same behavior, the subjects in this photo begin to blur into one amorphous platinum-haired being thanks to some heavy-handed Facetuning.
There‘s just something very … off about the tribute. Maybe it‘s that the photo seems a bit hollow once you know that Newt his high school geometry teacher, divorced her while she battled cancer, subsequently married a congressional staffer, and then divorced her when she declined his request for an open marriage so he could hook up with Callista — all while peddling “traditional family values.”
Or maybe it‘s that the couple airbrushed their faces into oblivion.